Friday, October 17, 2008

Is it Just Pregnancy Hormones?

I went to the Shell gas station I swore I NEVER would go to again. But gas was only $2.49 there, so could you blame me? (It's sad when we think $2.49 is a great deal; remember the days when it was more than half that?) For starters the pump would not automatically stay running. I had to hold it. That was okay until the pump shut off every time I tried to make it pump faster, EVERY time. I had to barely push it to get the fuel to come out. I stood there and watched the numbers crawl along until it finally reached 7 gal, the pump stopped again, and I just gave up. It's full enough, I thought. Then the credit card machine proceeds to tell me 'See Attendant'. Great! I have to go inside this dingy little gas station where the same creepy little man works (he's the reason I swore, in the first place, to never come back). I get to the counter and sure enough- there he is. He's ignoring me while I'm standing there. I finally have to speak up to get his attention. I tell him the situation. Finally he gives me my receipt and mumbles something about the pump not working. He doesn't say thank you and neither do I.

In order to cool off I think a shake from McDonald's sounds good. Until I hear:

"Our ice cream machine is broken," McDonald's girl responds, rudely.

Arg! It's off to IHOP, they're next door, they may or may not serve ice cream. I don't know. I walk in. This really scary old lady with a droopy eye and braided hair looks at me and says,

"Call in?" as soon as I walk in the door.

I tell her no, and ask if they have shakes. She looks down at my preggo belly and says she will make me one. I sit down a wait for a few minutes. She comes back and says,

"We don't sell them anymore."

By this point I am exasperated. What does a pregnant chick with cravings have to do to get a shake on her lunch break?

I have one more option before I have to be back at work. Village Inn. Village Inn satisfied my craving of waffles-to-go, one afternoon. The lady behind the counter was extremely friendly, too. I walk in and ask the man if they have chocolate shakes. A yellow light and hallelujah chorus resounds as he tells me they do! Moral of the story, if you really want a shake be willing to go to three different places. It was all worth it. The shake was great; even if it was almost $4!

Until next time.

The Moo Moo

I know she meant well, but come on!

"It's refreshing to see women not trying to hide the fat. You look cute!"

What? Was that a compliment or a put-down? I am still not exactly sure. I am seven and a half months pregnant, and granted, no, I am not able to really hide my belly (unless I am wearing a moo-moo dress). But to call my baby "the fat" was just absurd. Yes, I have gained weight since the pregnancy, but I am not a hugely obese woman. I can still wear some of my non-maternity tops, if they are long enough.

I think she was referring to was how back in her day, the women used to hide their pregnant bellies with unflattering tents. And she was thankful I am not doing that. But talk about a "foot-in-your-mouth-comment"!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

5 Things I LOVE about the Dentist

I was greeted by the receptionist who seemed nice enough. I found this office by an advertisement I received in the mail. It seemed harmless enough to just go and get a cleaning. Little did I know it would turn out like this...

5 Things That Annoyed Me Most:

1. The woman who cleaned my teeth had an ear piece on (actually everyone did). While she's jamming the motorized toothbrush in my mouth she's laughing obnoxiously to whomever is on the other end of that ear piece. She doesn't just do it once, mind you, but over and over her cackling continues until all I want to do is grimace, stick my fingers in my ears to deter her annoying laugh, and yank that "high-tech-thing" out of her ear. Whew! She's not finished yet. She...

2. Scrapes my exposed root with the "silver-hooked-terror-tool." Searing pain explodes in my mouth, after I had previously warned her about how painful it can be. A few minutes later she brings in the dentist, only to inform me that I have a cavity. Oh joy! I get to have a dentist drill my tooth!

3. While I am getting my cavity filled the assistant to the dentist is holding the suction tube near my face. She puts it in my mouth and proceeds to jam the thing against the left side of my tongue. The "suction thing" sucks my tongue until she can pry it off. She doesn't do this once or twice but, no joke, over ten times! Ridiculous! Never in all my years at the dentist's office have I had some moron stand there, trying to use suction, only to have my tongue forcefully follow it everywhere she yanked it.

4. While the dentist is drilling my teeth I could still feel pain, even after the TWO Novocaine shots.

5. And to top it all off -I had to ASK for my free toothbrush.

I don't want to go to the dentist for a very, very long time.